Life
This will seem a heavy subject matter for an initial blog entry, but it is where my mind has gone today. 4 years ago I did a wedding for an energetic and fun couple. They began a life together full of promise and excitement. They made vows, they spoke of commitment and they said, for better or worse. Today I saw it all put to the test as I sat next to the deathbed of the once bubbly bride. Her husband, true to his vows, taking incredible care of her and not a soul has heard a complaint from him.
Sitting next to someone who is dying is never easy. But, just a few days ago we all gathered together in a living room and prayed that God would do a miracle. Yet, instead of hearing words of miraculous recovery the report was a timeline that made it clear, that without a miracle, life would be ending in a matter of days and not years.
Here’s what I wonder, and I invite your comments. In those moments how do we trust God’s decision and choice of action (or non-action) when we do not agree with it? How do we see things from the eternal (His) perspective?
I realize again not only how fragile life is, but how futile so much of what we deem important is. There is an ironic clarity that comes at the end of life. A lens through which people can look back at their lives and see what was really important and worthy and what wasn’t. There is also a crystal clarity as to how important and immanent our eternal salvation is.
Today I grieved, but I also praised. Praised the God who chose to save and not let us be. Praise the God who promises more than we can imagine. Praise God that death is not the end, but the beginning. Praise the name of Jesus, by whom all that is not only possible, but freely given.
I hope to not write such long posts in the future, but find a bit of therapy in sharing some deeper thoughts.
Any of your own to share?
ben
Tina said,
November 9, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Ever see the movie The Big Chill? My high school friends can all attest to the fact that I disliked that movie until we were faced with the death of a good friend at a very early age of a brain disease that dragged on too long but yet did not give us near enough time to say goodbye. At the time we talked because you really do wonder “why God” and when facing death all of a sudden you do start thinking about life eternal but really I’m not sure it crossed my mind until I had a real tangible reminder that this “life” is temporary.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot – what makes one person totally accept God’s plan for their life when it’s so radically different than the course they’ve mapped out. How do you stay patient when you aren’t at all sure what’s coming next?
Not anything here should really matter. If I never find my true love, if I never have a child, all the other dreams I have mean way too much to me that the disappointment of them not happening when I think they should happen tends to cast doubt – does God even care? Is He listening? What are all the trials meant to be? Why isn’t he bringing me out of this valley? It’s hard when day after day there’s just silence. How much is it God that needs to act or how much do I need to do something? Am I’m just praying for the wrong thing? And more importantly I think we should have a passion to move beyond what this means for us and love each other and the world enough to help each other have a vision for our lives eternally not just on Earth even when we are in the valley ourselves. But how?
I listen to the stories of Paul and think about those disciples that just left a motherlode of fish behind and went and followed Jesus. I think of Jesus himself – it’s hard for me to fathom the sacrifice He made for me. If I think of his time as a man can you just imagine what it would have been like had he not been seeing things with an eternal perspective?
What I think it boils down to – peace in the knowledge that God loves us that pierces through the depth of your heart to the point of accepting the unfathomable, the unreasonable and the illogical. Where does that peace come from? I think you’ve got to love Him like you’ve never loved anyone before, even when the answer is no, even when he doesn’t answer. You’ve got to believe that what you read in the Bible means something. But this has got to stretch beyond the bounds of reading and praying but living and loving and enduring the struggle to do so with eternity in mind.
Wandering Soul said,
November 9, 2007 at 9:31 am
Seriously, does it ever just make you doubt if he’s really there? I mean, you can’t ignore that there is a God. Things don’t just happen out of nothing, things must have been created by someone, but does he really hear us? Does he really care?
I hope this is an ok place to ask questions, because I do believe, but I do question? How do you know?
Mr. T. said,
November 9, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Facing death in faith is something I would think is hard for anyone to understand unless you have no choice but to deal with it. Our hope and prayer has to be for healing and if not that then strength and peace. The hope of eternal life in God’s heaven is the only thing that makes any of this life worthwhile. However, watching the suffering of a cherished loved one or friend can not help but make you ask why. If you don’t, then you are a much better person and Christian than I can ever hope to be.
Joel said,
November 9, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Wow it sounds like a lot of us have either had resent test of faith or had a time in our lives when we were really put to the test. Yes indeed no doubt our God is givig us this live to live but how do we react and treat him back. I must say ever since attending the bible stucdy with Iron men a few weeks ago my life realy has changed. it has givin me a chance to relate with others the common day in and day out problems that occur are yes, common. I have learned to yet appreciate the small this in live that everyone takes for granted. Time and family being the most recent.
A quick story to attest my faith and my gratitude for our God that is and always will be.
Two Fridays ago the same bank robber that shot him self in a hi-speed chase last Wednesday held my wife up at gun point on the preceeding Friday. That day and weekend we really went throught a lot of talking about the importance of family and our love and the gratitude towards God and our faith that he pulled through and led that gun man to withdrawl his weapon and unfortunatly later turn on himself. Then as the weekend ended and Monday came around Sarah had a procedure done in the doctors office that led us to a bit of an emergent surgery on Thursday. So needless to say last week was a busy one. in the end coming into this week all is going well and she is swiftly recovering. however there is that twinkle that makes you think why did he test us this last week? We are glad to be a part of this growing community and glad to have such strong faith, because when the tough times come and all seems to fad there is one still standing that can carry you. He is my faithful father and friend, and I will never stray.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
I think this blog thing is going to be a great field for us to share our faith storys and grow in the community.
-JWD
Anonymous said,
November 9, 2007 at 10:43 pm
Wandering Soul, and I do love that name If ever there was a place to wonder it’s probably here among the other souls carrying similar questions.
It frustrates me when people say well it’s just God’s plan as THE answer for the multitude of unanswered questions as if they have it all figured out. Particularly as an answer to the ultimately vague question “why”. How do you even know? Am I being naive to think that there are somethings that God might not have a part of?
Wandering Soul said,
November 10, 2007 at 7:26 am
It is good to know that I am not the only one with questions. Thanks.
Tina said,
November 10, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Joel, thanks for sharing and wow you and Sarah have carried a lot these past weeks. I’m thankful to hear you are doing well. That’s a lot to carry and it’s a good illustration of God helping to carry the load.
Joel said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Thanks Tina,
Yeah rough times but the have matured and are turning toward rthe better.
As far as God having a plan and being a part of everything. Without a doubt I believe he laid it all out there for us before we were even created. It is mysterious but yet thats the fun about it.
john said,
November 25, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Sometimes you just have to ask yourself, is our God a fraud?